How to Ask Someone to Be a Godparent (and What to Say)

Choosing a godparent is a quiet vote of trust. You're telling someone, "We want you in our child's life for good." The way you ask doesn't need to be elaborate, but it should feel as considered as the decision itself.

Before you ask

Think about what the role means to you. In many churches a godparent supports the child's faith and makes promises at the baptism or christening. In many families today it also means a mentor, a steady adult and a person who turns up. Knowing which matters most to you makes the conversation easier.

Check any church requirements. Some churches ask that a godparent is baptised, confirmed or a certain age, or that there are one or two godparents of particular roles. Check before you ask so you don't have to take anything back.

Give them room to say no. Some people feel they can't take it on because of distance, faith or timing. Ask in a way that lets them think about it.

Ways to ask

In person over a meal. Simple and personal. Bring a small gift such as a framed photo of the baby, a candle or a keepsake ornament, and ask at the end.

A letter. Write why you chose them: a memory, a quality you hope your child learns from them. They'll keep it for years.

Through the baby. A bib, a onesie or a card "from" the baby: "Will you be my godmother?"

A scratch-to-reveal card. If they live far away, or you just like a surprise, send a godparent proposal scratch card. They scratch the gold to uncover the question, with a photo of the baby and your message, on their phone. You can ask both godparents with matching cards.

A small box. Put a photo, a note and a little gift in a box with "Open me" on the lid, and give it to them or post it.

What to say

Short and clear works best. A few ideas:

• "We'd be honoured if you'd be [name]'s godmother."
• "You've always been there for us. Will you be there for [name] too, as godfather?"
• "Of all the people we know, you're the one we want [name] to grow up looking up to."
• "Will you help us guide [name] through life? We'd love you to be a godparent."
• From the baby: "I already love you. Will you be my godparent?"

After they say yes

• Tell them the date of the baptism or christening as soon as you have it.
• Explain what you'd like them to do on the day (readings, holding the baby, promises).
• Share any church details they need, such as a form or a meeting with the priest or minister.
• Say thank you. A small keepsake from the day goes a long way.

Asking is a lovely moment in its own right, so enjoy it. If you'd like a way to ask that they can open from anywhere, have a look at our godparent proposal cards.